A Mom's concern for her 'CUTTING' Daughter's return to this self-harm after 3 years of therapy.
A mother e-mailed me: "I was searching through various Blogs, looking for hypnosis as a possible treatment for my 16 year old daughter's cutting disorder. She started this cutting when she was 13, and was started on anti-anxiety medication by the family doctor and still is at low dose three years later. (This led me to believe anxiety has something to do with her problem) The woman psychotherapist that my daughter was referred to is one of excellent qualifications, sweet personality and obvious experience in the adolescent psychology and modern treatment procedures. She saw my daughter twice a week at first and then weekly and now monthly. The therapist, also had me in, for "family background evaluation" at about 3 month intervals, but not also with my husband who's work keeps him away a good deal of the time. Through my sessions with her, I came to see that my handing of the mother-daughter relationship was not ideal and she suggested it was fixated at what was our pre-adolescent mother-daughter relationship had been and was no longer a way correct for the current situation. I took this to mean, that I was not letting my daughter have the space and interplay with her peers, particularly boys. (I think daughter had complained of that to the therapist.) And that, this was intensified because my husband was away so much. True, but that’s what supports us. Anyway that rang true enough to me that I loosened up some on being a "controlling mom". Although I recognized our relationship conflict, or gap, not sure what to call it, could be creating stress for my daughter might be true. But the suggestion that normal parental control made so much stress as to be the cause of the cutting episodes and the related anxiety was, for me, hard to accept. At one of my later evaluations with my daughter’s therapist I was given an long assessment about every imaginably kind of abuse that could happen in anyone’s childhood, (which on my case was if any, was mainly me considering it abuse when I didn't get my way about something). My parents never fought in front of me, and any drinking was a enjoyable family party events. My husband's family had a history of family spats, drunkenness, cheating and divorce, but none of that impacted our relationship, or as far as I know, my daughter was ever aware of. I left that session with the impression the therapist was convinced that that there had to be abuse, cruelty and or some sexual transgressions, else, my daughter would not be a cutter. Even worse, for my hope that therapy progress was happening, came off at the next evaluation, three month later. I was informed the diagnosis of ‘attention deficit disorder’ (ADD) had been verified and a medication for that was needed, which I was to give my daughter, with meticulous compliance to the instructions. Also, I was told it was ‘just routine‘, but my husband and I had to sign a new consent for the treatment of a minor. This document had words dealing with medication side effects and suicide impulses. It read to me almost as if a contract for the parent's to accept all responsibility for expected bad events and to get emergency help if things like that should happen. Reading that had a disturbing nightmarish quality for me. Along the line that things are actually getting worse, not better. Some time after this, nearly two years into the therapy, the daughter began resisting going to the sessions, and began bad mouthing me when I pushed her to go. But worse, after that, I began to find bloody long sleeved blouses hidden in the closet. When I mentioned this to her, she owned up, saying, yes, she had been cutting again and that was one of the reasons she didn't want to go to the therapy sessions, as now, they ask to see her wrists, as soon as she arrives, and that, she no longer gets anything other than feelings of embarrassment and hopelessness out of going there. Am I wrong in concluding that the therapy and medication didn't work, as was expected. I am only a Mom and feel very confused about what to do next. I fear to try anything else as my meddling might make things worse. I worry, what happens if we let her quit the therapy, or medications?- which she says, she wants to do. -My husband and I have talked about this situation at length, but are at a loss as to what to do next. That is what brought me here to ask. Can something like hypnosis help?en motivate her to find better interests in life, as to then forget the cutting thing?”
Dear Mom, I note you recognize the "Cutting Behavior" as being a relationship issue, which in my view is correct but not the whole story. Many authorities on this behavior prefer explanations, based on stress, post-traumatic stress, anxiety, depression early childhood physical, sexual or emotional abuse. When these explanations cannot be found, a sort of fall back set of definitions from the manual, called DSM-IV are often turned to. Such as; anxiety disorder, attention deficit disorder, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and many more. While this is useful for professionals in forming and revising their treatment plan, it does little to help the parents to understand what is really going on with their child. Your daughter's experience is not uncommon as progress is sometimes is a few steps ahead and then a few steps back, to disappointment of all concerned. Yes, hypnosis, can help, at least the way I do it- (I can't speak for all others.) It can be an appropriate supportive, encouraging type of adjunct to any kind of treatment or correction effort already in progress, without it interfering in the patient-therapist process at all when that going on. My hypno scripts are specifically constructed to reestablish or repair her self-esteem and sense of well being. As when that kicks in, any other therapy in progress should also benefit. I, also would not want to risk making things worse by taking a less than cautious approach, or encourage anything that would in anyway interfere with this professional help she is getting now. I do not recommend trying to replace therapy with hypnosis, but rather use hypnosis to support the therapy in progress. If for any reason, that is not possible several applications might be useful to encourage self-esteem, fresh motivation better coping and adjustment. For that reason I suggest, if you can contact the therapist and voice your concerns, to see if at this point its best to wait or make some changes to more frequent therapy sessions, or to discontinue. I cannot make those kinds of decisions for you. You and your husband must decide. It would seem useful to provide affirmation type hypnosis support the clients mindset either in or out of therapy, in order to encourage her to express her unfolding issues in respect to her new developing sexuality and social expectations. Which also complicate her ability to fully benefit from therapy work at this age. You might also ask about medication changes, group therapy, outside activity programs, or teen support groups that could be utilized. Whatever your arrange, you would obviously not wish to make things worse. This sort of reflection on things is not any judgment about the therapist, the therapy method, you, or your daughter. Three years is a long time for anyone to be in professional treatment, but many have gone much longer before the therapy goals were realized. I expect, with addition time you also will hear of additional DSM IV, diagnostic labels that will used to redirect the focus if the therapy. This is changing of labels is not anyone's fault, it is the trajectory of growth causing new stresses, anxiety, moods, social issues and perhaps the return of the cutting as a result. The odds are cutting will fade away as further passage to adult status occurs. Your therapist might or might not, like the ideal of your daughter beginning any outside self help exercises, (such as I promote), depending on their perception of what it seems to be in their view. Anything, hypnosis, may sound crazy and far fetched to them. Expect that. My method of writing custom prepared affirmations while aimed the client's main issues, at this same time is flexible enough to take into account the age, situation, mood and any shifting emotional states of clients Crafted personal, hypno-scripts seek to have one key focused issue and also some related encouragement elements. The focus of each new hypno-script needs to keep within the coping ability of that person's age and emotional reactions. To do that I require regular feedback as what is going on from the client or parents. This joint venture must exist for the full potential of this methods to be realized. The practice of hypno-script writing draws heavily on both intuition and experience to respond to the feedback and keep scripts on track for encouraging the desired outcome. There is no promise of specific results from any hypnosis suggestions, hypno-scripts or affirmations are provided as services for communicating support and no claim of specific benefit or cure is to be implied.
If you have further question, Just ask.
Regard's,
Forrest Butler “Hypnosis Master”
Hypnotist's International Exposition Board.
Hypnosis and Hypno-Scripts are hypnosis, not psychiatric counseling of any kind. It does require knowing what it is to accomplish.
Published Sunday, July 03, 2011 3:28 PM by HYPNOSIS MASTER
